Would you ask your friend to fix the plumbing in your home? Would you ask your spouse to teach you to speak French? Not unless they were experts in those fields. So why does it seem normal to rely on our families, friends, and community members to help us achieve our very unique, authentic life goals? Why do we believe that if we don’t find support and help with our goals from those around us then either we aren’t worthy of our goals or there is something wrong with our loved ones?
Would we judge ourselves or our loved ones so harshly if they couldn’t do something else that required specific skills and expertise such as fixing a car or writing a computer program? Yet we are often disappointed when those around us aren’t able to know what would make us happy, how to help us live a fulfilled life, or how to offer us constructive advice that we would actually follow through on.
Now this might not sound like you. Maybe you’ve given up entirely. Maybe you’ve decided that you should just be content with your lot in life and have buried your long-held dreams. But the next time you envy your friend who just changed careers and is now living her dream, ask yourself why you don’t believe that you deserve a skilled professional helping you identify your dreams and supporting you as take steps to achieve your goals.
Maybe you’ve never heard of life coaching. Or maybe you think it’s for other people. Or maybe you think it doesn’t work. Let’s clear up some common misconceptions. First of all, life coaching is an umbrella term that encompasses coaching for any number of areas from relationships to finances to cultivating healthy habits. Life coaching is very popular with people of all ages throughout the world. Coaches and clients can be in different places, as sessions most often take place by phone or Skype. There are life coaches for every age group, life stage, ambition, and goal you can imagine. Life coaching is a process and requires the full commitment of the client. Coaches help clients identify blocks, challenges, and opportunities. Additionally, many life coaches are very accomplished in their own lives and are good at asking key questions to unlock their client’s potential.
There is a saying, “The quality of your life is a function of the quality of questions you ask yourself.” Great life coaches know how to ask you the type of questions that evoke the kind of answers that elevate the quality of your life. Additionally, coaches work with you over a set period of time to make sure that you follow through on your commitments; that key piece known as accountability is built into the coaching process.
So what is the No. 1 reason to hire a life coach? To develop a better relationship with your loved ones. That may sound like an odd reason but let’s examine it in more detail. Many of us blame any number of circumstances and people for the quality of our lives. Though many different life situations and people do have an influence on us, choosing to work with a life coach means that you are taking full responsibility of your life going forward. This frees up the energy caught up in past disappointments, resentments, and bitterness.
Furthermore, as you learn how to create a life you desire and see actual results, you will develop a greater appreciation for life and those around you. Your positive energy will influence how you relate to your loved ones. Your real-life results may inspire those around you to pursue their own goals. Your newfound energy, appreciation, and sense of responsibility will elevate the quality of your relationships. It will also mean that you remove the pressure you may have put on others to offer you advice, support, and accountability for your goals, so the time your spend with your loved ones can be focused on enjoying and truly appreciating each person exactly as they are. You start seeing them as unique individuals instead of people who owe you something or have denied you something. In the process, you become stronger and more skilled at living a better quality of life.
If you’re not ready to hire someone, many life coaches offer a lot of great content on their websites for you to use in your own life. When you are ready to invest in yourself, there are many incredible life coaches who have helped people just like you with a variety of goals; if achieving some of your authentic life goals results in you creating deeper, more meaningful relationships with those you love, then those life coaching sessions are probably worth much more than the specific goals you hired them for in the first place.